My sweet 18-month-old daughter has started a “screaming phase.” Hearing her scream again and again in public when she does not get her way easily frustrates me at times. However, I try to remind myself that she is frustrated because she cannot always tell me her feelings or what she wants. Those “screaming phases” are a perfect opportunity to teach her self-regulation.
Self-regulation for young children indicates that they are able to manage their own emotions and empathize with others around them. My daughter loves other children. In fact, just the other day she saw a child she had never seen before lying on his mother’s lap and went over to comfort him by patting his head. On the other hand, she will grab a toy from another kid and when that child becomes upset, she becomes confused, showing that she needs to self-regulate.
Jenna Blimes, author of Beyond Behavior Management, Second Edition: The Six Life Skills Children Need shares strategies that parents and caregivers can use to help children learn and practice the skill of self-regulation. Below are several strategies Blimes recommends.
· Respond to children’s emotions: Listen to what the child is saying. Are they expressing emotions such as frustration, hurt, or joy, or are they looking for information by asking a question?
· Name and validate feelings: Avoid judgement about how a child is feeling. Name and validate all of a child’s emotions. Learning how to handle all types of emotions will help them as they grow.
· Emotional vocabulary: Use a diverse and wide emotional vocabulary. Try to include words that are outside the typical “happy” or “sad,” but that convey a wide variety of emotions such as “impatient” or “generous.”
· Help children understand that feelings are responses: Children need to know what initiates their feelings.
· Help children notice that feelings change: Feelings are not permanent, and they can change over time. Point out when emotions change in a child to help them understand that they can manage their emotions.
Self-regulation is a foundation on which many other skills are built. For more information on teaching self-regulation in early childhood visit https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/teaching_young_children_self_regulation.
Night Owls Coffee Punch
12 (8-oz.) cups extra strong brewed coffee
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 (15 1/2 oz.) Hershey’s chocolate syrup
2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract
3 quarts half and half
3 quarts vanilla ice cream, slightly softened
Transfer brewed coffee to glass bowl. Add sugar, chocolate syrup, and vanilla. Stir well. Put in airtight container and chill in refrigerator overnight. Just before serving add half and half and ice cream. Mix well. Yields 40-50 punch cup size servings. Recipe can be easily halved, doubled, tripled, etc. It is fine to use “lite” ingredients. The taste is still delicious! Submitted by Anne Towns, Night Owls FCE Club.
